[smart_track_player url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/parentingintherain/episode_1_Parenting_in_the_Rain.mp3″ title=”Episode 1: Nurturing the Relationship with Shawn Riker” social=”true” social_twitter=”true” social_facebook=”true” social_gplus=”true” ]

In This Episode:

  • Staying “connected” relationally in the couple relationship is vital.
  • Empathy is so important in any relationship, especially parenting.
  • Empathy doesn’t require understanding, or even agreement.
  • Empathy is looking at the situation from another’s perspective.
  • Feeling like you are on the same “team” with your partner is so important.
  • One of the purposes of relationships is to make us into better people.
  • Demanding compliance from our children can allow problematic issues to become the ruler of our relationship with each other.  This can cause parents to “distance and divide”.
  • The little things can take root causing similar patterns to show up in multiple areas in our relationships.
  • Modeling an “intentional reconnection” for children can help them see how healthy relationships function.
  • Relationships need to be nourished on a daily basis.
  • It’s critical that we create an environment where our partner can thrive in terms of connection.
  • Holding a safe space to allow for vulnerability is a key component to strong relationships.  Strong relationships can make us much better parents. 
  • Intentionality and the quality our relationship affects how we parent.  Making efforts to nurture the relationship can prevent the relationship fizzling out.  Once relationships go on autopilot, couples can get into patterns that can threaten the viability of the relationships.  Mind reading mode, auto pilot mode, and the like can be familiar and detrimental to relationships in general. 
  • Create surprise and novelty, such as a text out of the blue, switching up daily routines such as where you eat dinner, and make other adjustments to shake up  the downfalls of autopilot mode. 
  • Explanation and convincing mode can be harmful to connection.  Avoid this at all cost.
  • Being authentic and genuinely expressing care through softening words and phrases can really help make stressful situations easier.
  • Problems are either “solvable” or perpetual.   Not every situation is “solvable”; some issues are “perpetual”.  Don’t let the “perpetual” problems in your family drive your relationship.
  • Ask yourself, “Is this issue becoming bigger than our relationship together?”.  You can always “shelve” it and go back to if it later if needed.
  • Usually couples in jeopardy get into patterns and mindsets that greatly limit their ability to process through issues together.  Unhealthy patterns can be damaging to the health of the relationship.
  • Children get their blueprint of what goes into healthy relationships from watching their parents.

 

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